Civility once served as the glue of a democratic society. Disagreement was often passionate, but it was restrained by the belief that all opponents were not enemies. Today, that restraint has become increasingly absent, both in politics and in daily life by the example and conduct of Donald Trump.

President Trump has made insult-driven rhetoric acceptable by a frequent use of mocking nicknames and personal attacks toward opponents, journalists, judges, and even former allies. At the same time, he has exhibited an obsession with personal admiration. He makes public humiliation of his critics, which escalates the disagreements, while he obsessively takes credit for all achievements. He has repeatedly attached derogatory labels to those he disagrees with, like  “Crooked” or  “Sleepy,” using insulting labels in speeches and on social media. The nicknames are expressed in a mocking tone with ridicule and sarcasm. He has an extreme sensitivity to criticism. His reaction to criticism is public abuse of critics and those seen as disloyal, using public praise for people who support him. His responses are combative, accusatory, dismissive, and confrontational attacks. He frequently uses disparaging descriptions that stereotype or demean immigrants, minorities, and political opponents. The labels are repeated persistently, reinforcing associations in the public mind.

The other defining feature of his public life has been a pattern of false or misleading statements. Fact-checking organizations have clearly documented his numerous representations that were simply false or inaccurate or exaggerated. A few of the more egregious examples include these:

1. That the 2020 election was “stolen,” rigged, or fraudulent, and that he was elected in a “landslide.” In fact, state officials from both parties and courts, plus election authorities, certify the results
2. That Mexico would pay for the border wall when, instead, American taxpayers paid.
3. The US is the world’s only country where mail-in voting exists. In fact, dozens of countries use mail-in ballots, including Canada, the United Kingdom,  Germany, Australia, and Switzerland.

Modern political discourse has become angry, coarse, and confrontational-even violent. Public officials interrupt, insult, and name-call one another with little hesitation. Social media amplifies outrage because outrage attracts attention. Reasoning is drowned out by volume. Instead of persuasion, we see rudeness, anger & disparagement of the other person. Instead of rational debate, we see character assignation.

What begins in politics does not stay there. The tone at the top seeps into the culture below. When leaders model contempt, it promotes citizens to do the same. Courtesy yields to sarcasm. Patience gives way to instant judgment. The habit of listening — essential to both democracy and relationships — disappears, and violence becomes an acceptable response.

Yet rudeness is not strength. It is insecurity disguised as certainty. True confidence allows room for disagreement without degradation. Democracies depend not merely on laws and elections, but on communications of mutual respect.

Worst of all, the growing rudeness in politics and daily life is not merely unpleasant — it is dangerous to the health of our nation.

First, it erodes trust. A democracy depends on a basic level of confidence in institutions and in one another. When political debate devolves into insults and personal attacks, citizens begin to see opponents not as Americans with different ideas, but as enemies that must be defeated.

Second, rudeness undermines rational decision-making. Complex national problems require careful listening, compromise, and respect for differing perspectives. When public discourse is dominated by outrage and ridicule, serious deliberation is impossible. Policies become armed combat. Volume replaces wisdom.

Third, incivility discourages participation. Many capable, principled people withdraw from public life because they do not want to be involved with hostility and personal attacks. When good people step back, the quality of leadership suffers.

Fourth, the behavior modeled by leaders filters into schools, workplaces, families, and communities. When disrespect becomes normalized at the highest levels, it lowers the standard everywhere and condones violence. Civility is contagious — but so is hostility over rational discussion.

Finally, persistent hostility fractures national unity. A country divided into camps that refuse to listen to one another cannot address shared challenges effectively. Economic growth, national security, public health, and justice all require collaboration. A culture of constant antagonism weakens our collective capacity to act.

Country western singer Tim McGraw’s song  Always Be Humble And Kind, has these lyrics, which capture the spirit of how Americans have traditionally strived to be the person expected by each other:

Go to church ’cause your momma says to,
visit Grandpa every chance that you can.
It won’t be wasted time,
always stay humble and kind.

Hold the door, say please, say thank you,
don’t steal, don’t cheat, and don’t lie.
I know you got mountains to climb but
always stay humble and kind.

Don’t expect a free ride from no one,
don’t hold a grudge or a chip, and here’s why.
Bitterness keeps you from flyin’,
always stay humble and kind.

Don’t take for granted the love this life gives you.
When you get where you’re goin’,
don’t forget, turn back around.
Help the next one in line,
always stay humble and kind.

Democracy is more than laws and elections. It is a set of habits — listening, restraint, patience, and respect. When those habits deteriorate, the nation itself is diminished. Reclaiming civility is not a matter of politeness alone; it is a matter of national necessity.